Tantrums in toddlers can be highly frustrating and upsetting for parents. Toddler tantrums might make you doubt your parenting skills, but they’re a natural part of toddlerhood. Toddler tantrums typically begin around the age of 18 months, despite it being known as the “terrible twos”. Children’s social and emotional skills are just beginning to develop at this age. Children frequently lack the vocabulary to articulate strong feelings. Tantrums are one of the ways that young children express and control their emotions while also attempting to comprehend and alter what is going on around them. Children may be putting their growing independence to the test. Tantrums can also occur when children are sleepy, hungry, uncomfortable or uneasy. Toddler tantrums can range from wailing and sobbing to kicking, slapping and holding their breath.
How to handle toddler tantrums
Though it’s possible for children to outgrow their speech delay, there may be underlying issues, such as:
- Mouth, tongue or palate issues
- Speech and language disorders
- Autism spectrum disorder (ASD)
- Lack of engagement and stimulation
- Hearing loss
- Neurological problems
- Intellectual disabilities
When should we see a doctor?
Each tantrum is different and therefore needs to be handled differently. Some situations call for comforting your child, while others require even ignoring the child. Here are a few points to help you handle a tantrum:
- Stay calm – your child is also learning behaviour from you, and all your child is trying to do is engage with you. Keep calm to prevent the situation from getting worse.
- Acknowledge the big emotions – you do not need to reason with your child but telling them you understand they have strong feelings is essential. Accept that your child is angry.
- Communicate with your child and let them know that what they are doing is inappropriate. But also allow them to communicate their feelings.
- Wait out the tantrum – sometimes it is best to ignore your child unless they participate in harmful activities.
- Stop aggressive behaviour – if they are being physically aggressive, make it clear that this is unacceptable by removing them from the environment or holding them until they stop.
- Be consistent and calm – either give in or do not. Fluctuating in your decision making can make the tantrums worse or more frequent.
- Create a distraction – your child has a shorter attention span than you do and will likely get over their tantrum with a distraction. Do not use bribery, however. Your child may become used to being rewarded for their tantrums.
- Hug them – let your child know that you still care, show them that they are safe.
- Move them – if they are in public, take them to a quiet and safe space where you can soothe them better.
- • Help your child – if they are throwing a tantrum because they are frustrated, take active steps to try to make it easier for them.
Can you avoid the toddler tantrum?
The simple answer is yes. You can avoid toddler tantrums. This does not mean that tantrums will disappear entirely. It simply means that if you take proactive steps to reduce the likelihood, they may become less intense and less frequent. If you reduce the stressors in their environment, your child may be less likely to throw a tantrum. Acknowledging and tuning into your child’s emotions might help you get a better understanding of what they are feeling. Encourage your child to express their emotions. This will also help you get a sense of your child’s specific limits. Praise your child when they make good choices. This will help them identify good behaviours. Let your child make some decisions with you so that they have a sense of control in their situation. Listen to what your child is saying, do not automatically assume that what they are asking for is unreasonable. Be prepared for a possible tantrum and avoid environments where a tantrum may be triggered.